I try really
Hard to say what
I mean and mean
What I say
Without being
Mean
But that’s
Just me…
And I apologize
For all the times
I’ve been and will
Be mean
In advance

sometimes

I just get mad
At myself
For allowing someone
Or something Else
the chance
To get up under
My skin
And in an instant
It’s like an
Out of body
Experience
And I’m not living
It and I doubt
I’m schizophrenic
its just a small
Charateristic of me…
I mean…
That’s just a tiny
Piece of B…

But

You…

Them…

Everyone seems

to think and say
I’m too cute
Too small
Too suite
To be
So fuckin’ mean…
“What are u
So angry about”
Many have begged
Me to scream
And shout it out
And when I do
they be out
Like 8-tracks
And casetttes
So…after
35 years
Of that
Tell me…
How am I
Supposed to act?

I got scars
Layers like onions
A story we all
know so well
Its a whole lotta
People who should be
In hell or jail
But who am
I…we…to judge
but I will tell it
Like ’tis
Even if it is
Fucked up
What? Am I wrong?
You want me
To sing those same
Ol’ songs
Spit those same
Boring ass poems
That aint
Billie Simone
That aint me or
What I’m made of
What I represent
What I
MEAN….

I’m not
Mean
Mad
maybe Pissed a little
At society and
A few associates
Friends, and members
Of my family
But that’s
My life and
I didn’t pick it
but I refuse
To live in a cesspool
Of blantant envy and
Ignorance so
I keep my subject
Matter to a
Minimum
because i’ve been there

and remember the times

and i will cut a nigga

when it comes to mine

yo
I’m passionate…
about a lot things
And if I wrote
About shit
Like the war
The country or
The [former] president
Trust me
They’d assinate me…

So I really try
Hard to say what
I mean and mean
What I say
And every night
I pray for my
Trespasses
I pray for the good
Times and the messes
I get myself
Into because
It means I’m
Learning
Growing
And I’m just
Hoping
You understand
Where I’m coming
From and you
Won’t think
I’m some kind
Of nutcase cause
True I have my
Ways but
Under no uncertain
Terms am
I mean…

I really…

just try…

Hard…

to mean
What I say
And say what I mean
Even if that
Means
Some people may
Not like me…guess
That just means
I don’t
Need their company…

Billie Simone © 2007