[POEM] MISTAKE

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MISTAKE

It hurt like hell
But gave me a
A story to tell
And I never dreamed
You’d be so cruel
To me…
Everyday I wait
For a call
A letter
Anything to make me
Feel better
About the situation
But I get nothing
But silence
And frustration…
I know you
Didn’t mean it
I wanna believe that
One day
We will find a way
Back into each other’s lives
I taste each tear
You cry and wonder why
You can’t
Bring yourself to simply
Apologize…
Maybe I don’t deserve one…
Maybe it was
Just a facade of love
After all you walked
Out the door…
But my heart
Insists it was more…
It doesn’t want
To believe it wasn’t
Sincere and that it
Was fake…and
It forgives you
For the
Mistake…
Even if I can’t…

Billie Simone © 2014

[POEM] TOO DEEP

TOO DEEP

She said hello
I introduced myself
And invited her to
The Suite…
She read a few words
And declared me
an enemy…
I’ve always been
Too Deep
For these shallow
Hollow, superficial
Little girls…
Pretending to be
Miss Prisses
Only to be foul and
Insidious

I don’t sleep
I create..
I write…
I think…
Often times
I never appear what
I seem to be…

I’m deep-seated
Deeply-rooted
In unconditional love
And loyalty… I don’t
Know any other way to exist
And no matter what
I do
I always play
I always lose
Cause I’m too…Deep…

There so much more
Behind the smile
Traveled so many miles
On this journey of mine
I find myself at a crossroads…
Should I fuck with these ho’s
Or stay solo
Cause ain’t nobody got
Time for infidelities
And lies
Disappearing acts
With false alibis
I tried
Now I’m tired
And just want to
run and hide…

My still waters
Run deep
Too Deep
Intense and cavernous
And I wish she had
The patience to read
Through the pages
And experience me…
But she said I was
Too Grown…Too Nice
Too Sweet..and my favorite…
“Baby…you’re just
TOO DEEP… for me”

And I’ll be that…
Sincerely with no
Apologies…

Billie Simone © 2014

REAL WORDS FOR THE REAL WORLD

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Some people get caught-up and so preoccupied with this social media bullshit that they lose all sense of reality. Keep that childish shit over there please and thank you. I only fuck with ADULTS…

#nofiltershere

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DEAD SLEEP

Insomnia and I are now best friends…lucky if I get two hours a day…but I was in a dead sleep and my eyes popped open…I was having another nightmare, but can’t remember what happened…I just remember sobbing and playing this song over and over again…

Wait…that wasn’t a nightmare…that was real life…

Come upstairs and I’ll show you where all my
Where my demons hide from you
Just look at who I have become I am so ashamed
You were the one that made me feel the way I do

You broke me and taught me
To truly hate myself
Unfold me and teach me how to be
Like somebody else

And I felt strong enough
I was discovered by the love
I had been waiting for so long
You told me none of that was real
I can not hide how low I feel
To know that you were never wrong

You broke me and taught me
To truly hate myself
Unfold me and teach me
How to be like somebody else

Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh eey yeaah
You are lost and found
Falling out my babe
Broken down
Broken down

You broke me and taught me
To truly hate myself
Unfold me and teach me
How to be like somebody else
You broke me and taught me to
Truly hate myself
Unfold me and teach me
How to be like somebody else

signed,
unlovable

FALLING IN LOVE OVER AND OVER AGAIN

I saw this and I wanted to share it for those who love each other unconditionally and plan to spend the rest of your lives together.

Although I am UNLOVEABLE, and this does not apply to me or my future, it truly touched my heart. To me, it explains what unconditional love is. It’s nice to know that people actually believe in commitment and forever. To the couples who aren’t breaking up no matter what…I wish you love and happiness….

Kurt Smith says:
In any romantic relationship the key to success is falling in love over and over again with your partner. Whether you are married or not, it’s the truth.

We often think of the act of falling in love as a one time occurrence at the beginning of our relationship. And for many of us when we “fall out of love” we think it’s a sign that the relationship is over and it’s time to move on.

The truth is that in most relationships we will go through continuous cycles of falling in love, falling out of love, and falling in love again. That’s the key — falling in love again. In a relationship love just isn’t a feeling that happens and stays. It’s one that comes back with work.

If we want our relationships to last, we need to recognize that those periods when we don’t “feel” like we’re in love anymore are only temporary — if we’ll do the work to fall in love over again.

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[POEM] “UNLOVABLE”

I am
Unlovable
Every time
I try
To give a woman
Every thing inside of me
Eventually
She hates me
She leaves me
Unlovable
Incapable of being loved
Unconditionally
It’s always
ALWAYS
Something I did
Or didn’t do…
Enough
Cursed
By my past lives
I can only assume
I am doomed
I am destined to walk
Alone in this life
Never find my one
My wife
Solo until the day
I die…

I long to be
Taken out of my misery
I am the walking
Dead
Wishing for a peaceful
Fade to black
I lack any sense of
Happiness
Hollow
And displaced
I do not belong here
Surrounded by angst
And fear
Withering in a pool
Of tears and sorrow
I already hate
Tomorrow
Inadequate of solicitude
A waste of flesh
And soul….

Unloveable
Failure in love
I surrender
I shall not seek
Thee any longer
I comprehend
That I am not right within
Not built for
Long term affection
I am a mere
Stepping stone
Hurt to the bone
Rest in Peace
Billie Simone

billie simone © 2014

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NOBODY BUT YOU

POEM: “I Wanted to Love You”

I wanted to love you
I had plans to
Fill your world
With splendor and bliss
This wasn’t supposed
To be like this…
We supposed to be
Married with kids
Instead we’re
Full of regret
Pretending to forget
What we shared…

I wanted to love you
Only you
Silly me
I assumed I’d
Be buried beside you
I thought love would
Conquer all
And for another
You could never fall
But you did
And I built a brick wall
Around my heart…
I smile
I laugh
Yet it’s all
A front…

Ooooh woman
I wanted to love YOU
My dream come true
And I would have
Been a good lover too…
They say all is fair
in love and war
And I often wonder
Who it was written for
Cause ain’t nothing
Fair about us
Being…apart…

I wanted to love…YOU
Love you the way
You deserved to be
Loved…Love you because
you were the one I was
created to love…love you
Because I knew I’d never
Love another…Love you
more than a Lover…Love
You with teardrops, rapid heartbeats,
and impromptu soliloquies
Of loving thee…

I wanted…to…LOVE…you
And you rejected me
Neglected me
Simply would’t let me
And it made me
“colder than a polar bear’s toenails”
and hell…
I guess everything
truly happens
For a reason…

Billie Simone © 2011